Blink once if you’ve ever sent a string of long texts to a guy and he either didn’t respond or responded with a few words that could barely qualify as a sentence.

*Blinks*

Same sis, same. I’d really like us to abandon this practice. Tap into that powerful female energy you possess and realize that he just ain’t worth it. And if your reasoning for sending these messages is to find closure, then I am here to tell you a very important fact that is a secret to many. Are you ready for it? Come a little closer… THAT SHIT DON’T EXIST! Closures are for weaves and weaves only. Do not and I repeat, DO NOT go looking for it elsewhere. Trust me, I’m trying to save you a lot of time and heartache here. Just move thee fahck on.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and act like I’ve never been the sender of long ass text threads. I have, on more than one occasion and each time I never felt better after sending those texts, only worse. I already knew these boys were jerks, I already knew how big of an asshole they were, so why did I think sending them a text detailing how badly they had hurt me and/or explaining how much I still cared would inspire them to not be an asshole? They made it clear long ago that they didn’t care about me but my dumbass just had to keep trying. Thank God I woke up and finally started utilizing the block feature on my phone. (I have a very low tolerance for bullshit therefore my blocked numbers list is long. It’s mostly telemarketers and scammers but there are a few fuckbois in the mix also.)

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After a relationship ends many of us are left trying to figure out what we did wrong, why our partner didn’t care for us the way we cared for them and a myriad of other things that just aren’t worth stressing over. The sooner you realize that you don’t need closure, the easier it is to get over someone. Will getting over them be easy? No, not at all. Unless you’re like Erykah Badu and have ascended to a higher astral level than the rest of us, you’re still likely to be down for a bit. And that’s okay, it’s a part of the process. But focus on yourself and no one else during this time. #DoNotTextTheEx Get to know yourself better, take yourself on dates, learn a new hobby, reconnect with old friends. Learn how to truly enjoy hanging out with yourself, I may be biased because I’m an introvert, but it is really is the best.

Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason as to why a relationship didn’t work out. You just weren’t the one, or the person you were dating was a dick. Or you weren’t the one who could turn said dick into a decent human being. Don’t dwell or stress yourself out over that. Trying to turn a dick into a decent person is much harder than trying to turn a ho into a housewife. That’s actually pretty easy…

So instead of attempting to find closure with your ex, find closure within yourself. Or better yet, just find yourself. Sometimes we can become so wrapped up in another person that we lose our true selves. A break up can be the perfect time to get back to ourselves as an individual. The self-improvements and growth that occur during the aftermath of a breakup benefit us in the end because now we know to not make our lives all about another person. Thanks a lot shitty person! You’re the best at being terrible! 

So closure actually does exist! You just have to find it with the person you least expected it to exist within, yourself.